The only time W's mother was right

Latest letter to the editor to the East Hampton Star from my wonderful & brilliant, Uncle Richard:

Mother Was Right
East Hampton
January 25, 2007

Dear Editor:

The President of the United States, hallowed be his name, has given his State of the Union message for January 2007. He made no mention of fulfilling his promises after Katrina; no mention of stopping his illegal wiretapping; did not state any rational plan for universal medical coverage; none for repair of Social Security (though he did condescend to mention that it needed fixing), and gave no semblance of a plan or strategy for Iraq — “Give it a try,” he says. We’ll wait for the casualties.

However, true to form, this “master of disaster” did manage to get in one very, very important request to Congress: to help him stop the “unnecessary lawsuits” against corporations and pharmaceutical companies. Now there is something that every citizen should welcome. “Let’s kill all the lawyers” — catastrophic injuries caused by misfeasance or malfeasance of corporations should be allowed to flourish and go unpunished and salaries of chief executive officers will multiply even faster and corporate profits will soar.

Surely this refugee from the bottom of his Yale class has discovered a priority need for the country. One close to the hearts of families in New Orleans living in trailers, and military families with loved ones dead, dying, or in harm’s way. That’s just what they need: fewer trial lawyers.

Six years in office and now he calls for political parties to “work together” to solve domestic problems. Now he turns his narrow little closed mind to domestic policy so he can repeat the fabulous job he has done with foreign policy.

Though the people have had it, the armed forces have had it, both sides of the aisle in Congress have had it, the entire world has had it, this warped, “go it alone” incompetent, pigheaded moron goes on into the night putting our soldiers in harm’s way at an ever-increasing rate, raising our national debt to an all-time high, scoffing at scientific findings, denying history, abandoning all sense of the Constitution, while still being proud of the record he had as governor of Texas, when he allowed 486 people to be executed — more than five times the total number of the next-highest state that employs that barbarian penalty. “Every one was guilty,” he said. Sure, in his arrogance and ignorance then, as he is now about his mad venture in Iraq.

His mother was right. “George?” she said. “George, he just can’t handle that job.” And yet the suckers voted for him and found out too late that she was unerringly correct.

RICHARD H.