Saturday, February 05, 2005

Bad Bad Music

I'm taking another page from Motomama's blog, and doing a list of disliked music. Here we go:

George Thorogood: Always hated his stuff, especially "Bad to the Bone." Every time I hear that song come on the radio, I cringe.

John Mellonhead (oops, Melloncamp): Ok, I don't hate him and I do have some respect for some of his stuff but, "Hurt So Good" is pretty unforgivable.

Hole: The thought of her with Kurt's money makes me sick, and her band sucks, too.

Country music: Excluding Hank Williams Jr, Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, and a few other oldies.

Rap: 98% of it

I could list preteen bubblegum crap like Britney and the Simpson sisters, but what's the point? Doesn't everyone hate that stuff?

The worst of the worst is Toby Keith. I'd like to smash his ignorant face in.


Snave said...

Great choice, there Lizzy. Koby Teith! Amen. He sucketh so mightily that I loseth my lunch. Joe Diffie is just about as bad.

I saw George Thorogood live in about 1979. I enjoyed the show, although I wouldn't say he was a particularly talented guitarist. It looked to me like an average guitarist could do just about everything George did with a minimum of practice.

The music of John Mellon Cougarcamp makes me think of single-wides and TV dinners. (I borrowed that line from another blogger friend of ours!) I love "ROCK in the USA" and "Small Town". Most of the rest of his stuff I could do without. I think "Jack and Diane" is absolutely heinous, and some of the lyrics in "Pink Houses" just make me want to run and hide.

I don't mind Hole as much as you do. I do find Courtney Love to be kinda crawly, but I was never a huge fan of Nirvana either. I like the "Celebrity Skin" CD. Didn't Billy "I sound like I'm taking a dump whenever I sing" Corgan have a lot to do with that recording?

And despite Billy's constipated vocals, I like the Pumpkins very much.

I also detest modern "country" music, which to me is nothing more than pop or pop/rock performed by people dressed in fakey "western" garb who have never seen cattle. Throw a fiddle and a steel guitar into the pop/rock mix, and you get modern "country" Republicana.

Rap: I can't stand the stuff either, but while you only detest 98% of it, I detest 99%. I think Eminem is one of the worst offenders.

Some of my other musical pet peeves:

Creed: Thankfully they are no more. Scott Stapp doing his Christ pose was just way too much.

Creed/Nickelback/etc.: A brief, unnecessary grunge revival in the late 90's. They tried to sound like Pearl Jam/Soundgarden/Stone Temple Pilots, and none of them could pull it off.

A Flock Of Seagulls: Bad hair, bad songs.

Bobby Goldsboro: "Watching Scotty Grow" and "Honey" are a couple of the worst songs ever recorded. Ever!

Oliver: "Good Morning Starshine". Glibby glub gloopy.

Neil Diamond: I like a number of his earlier songs, but I include him because of lyrics in "I Am, I Said" ("and no-one heard, not even the chair") and "Play Me" ("song she sung to me, song she brung to me")

Barry Manilow: "Mandy"... "Copacabana"... "I Write The Songs"... etc. ad nauseum. Barely Man-Enough.

Paperlace: "The Night Chicago Died".

I could go on and on. If you haven't read "Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs" you HAVE TO. It is an ABSOLUTE MUST for music fans, and especially for fans of bad music! Check it out!!

Sheryl said...

I also dislike most of the styles you mentioned here. My biggest pet peeve in music that you didn't mention are the wailers. The worst is that irritating song by Whitney Houston:

And I-ai-ai Will Always Lu-uh-uh-v Yoooooooo-ooooo-oooooo.

She had one thing right, she said, "if I should stay, I would only be in your way..." Yes, please go and take your wallowing with you. Sounded like the poor woman was in labor!!!!

I also hate opera singers who are also into wailing. The ones who sound like Tarzan before he swings through the jungle. The good opera singers have crystal clear voices and don't sound like they are singing through bull horns. Although most opera is lame. Mainly because they do try to sound like that bellowing into a bull horn.

Oh, and gospel is bad that way too. Oh well. Enough harping on things other people get enjoyment from--to each his own, as long as they don't play it public, which they unfornately too often do. Piss and moan, piss and moan.

Snave said...

Fantastic post, Sheryl.

I go to ball games, and the moment I dread most is the national anthem. I always hope for an instrumental version but often times, in our rural area, we get the Shania Twain wannabes, with the occasional Whitney Houston TMN Syndrome sufferers (TMN stands for Too Many Notes).

Was it Whitney that made this style of excessive singing popular? Was it Natalie Cole? Whoever it was (if they aren't already dead and already there) may well spend the rest of eternity on a spit, slow-roasting over an open flame. At least to MY tortured ears...

Lizzy said...

Snave, I guess we've found an area where we actually differ on things! I saw Flock of Seagulls open up for The Police in the 80's. Except for the terrible hair, I've always liked them. "Wishing" has always been a fav.

Neil Diamond: Even though some of his lyrics are questionable, I've always been a fan. I think it's in my genes.

Barry Manilow: I could do without a lot of his stuff, but I wouldn't put him on a worst list.

Paperlace: Their hit always takes me back to the happy days of my youth.

Smashing Pumpkins: We agree. "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" is another favorite.

I'll have to check out that book you suggested. Thanks!
Yes, yes, yes! How could I forget the "over-singers?!"

Whitney, Celine, Mariah, Bolton - yuk!!

I also agree with you about some Opera and Gospel singers. If they would just reel it in a little...

Jim Marquis said...

Rap is my nemesis. I can even stomach silly stuff like Paper Lace and Bobby Goldsboro because it came from a certain era where sentimentality was more appreciated.

For the most part I think rap has been a musical black hole (no pun intended). There's no real musical talent, the lyrics are nihilistic or somewhat retarded and it has taught a couple generations of American kids completely false values.

It makes me sad because I grew up in the 60's and 70's and black music was amazing. It still sounds great today.

M said...

Re: baseball game music. It always cracked me up that they use the Ramones "Blitzkrieg Bop" (Hey Ho Let's Go) as a sing along when there are lyrics like "Shoot 'em in the back now." Also the Garry Glitter song "Rock n Roll" (Hey!) when the guy is a convited pedophile.

Damien said...

I'll run against the grain and say I love rap,
Although only the 'Old Skool' stuff (just fishin fo cred here). And I would consider Eminem to be the 'buddy holly' of rap, no sound sense, no word sense, no flow. Best rap vid ever Beastie Boys 'Sure Shot', take a bow boys (or boyz).

Worst songs ever

stairway to heaven,the Ralf Harris ed (need that be

anything by that guber who sings 'your body is a wonderland', (I have a follow up to that that I won't post).

M said...

Ooh,Damien, the "Sabotage" video is so much funnier. I like a bit of old skool rap - Grandmaster Flash, early Public Enemy, etc. I saw a few cool rap shows years ago in the mid to late 1980s, Jazzy Jeff/Fresh Prince, Queen Latifah, Public Enemy, the Beasties - it wasn't like it is now at all.

The old country guys are cool - we like Buck Owens. Jon loves old Merle Haggard, but the new stuff is so lame.

Damien said...

Damn how did I forget 'Sabotage'!!!

Damien said...

Worst ever,
any rapper who ryhmes 'Party and Baccardi'
any idiot who does air turn tables,
any adult who says hizzy, bizzy, or shizowse

Best rap ever 'live and die in LA' damn homie I feel the heat.

Best lead in ever Back in Black AC/DC

Pearl Jam, yes - Nivana - errr yes

Anyway I've got a sound system that would make your gums bleed at 20 paces (even playing Elvin and the Chipmonks, at quarter vol), so basically anything sounds good.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you guys are stepping on my toes with this one. I'm just glad no one said anything bad about Bob Dylan, than I would've had to leave a crazy rant.

George Thorogood for one -- "Get a haircut and get a real job" One of my favorite songs of all time. I don't care if he's not that talented that's a get song.

Rap (Eminem) -- There's alot of bad out there, but Eminem is a talent. "Mosh" has to be the best political song/video written in my time (90's on). Dude may be offensive, but he can rap like nobody else.

Jadakiss "Why" was a great song this year, here's a line for a sample
"Why they let the terminator win the election
Come on, pay attention"
Wyclef Jean, Black Eyed Peas, NAS, and Tupac just came out with another one. For a bit more music to check out.

Alright this is a full blown rant, sorry. John Mayer (dude who sings body is a wonderland) is a great guitar player. Saw the guy on Austin City Limits playing with Buddy Guy and had to buy his CD.

If you really want to hear some bad music all you have to do is turn on your radio because most of what is being force fed is really crap. No matter what genre you are into there's bad and good, it's just that you have to look hard to find the good.

Lizzy said...

Motomama, I agree. Playing "Blitzkrieg Bop" and Gary Glitter's "Rock n Roll" at baseball games just ain't right. I also agree about Grandmaster Flash and Public Enemy, they were a couple of the good ones. GF's "White Lines" still gets to me. And, Beastie Boys are a true original.

Tescosuicide, I'm glad you liked my list. However, I think you may have misread what we said about the Smashing Pumpkins. We like them! By the way, your blog is really cool.

Damien, You are too funny. And, I agree with you about the best lead-in ever: Back in Black by AC/DC.

Moose, Much to others chagrin, we agree about Eminem. "Mosh" is a great song, and an even better video. That little white boy can rap. I also completely agree with you about force-fed radio. There may be a few good REAL bands out there, but they are few and far between on the radio. It's mostly a bunch of overproduced crap.

Snave said...

Moose, yer sure right about radio. What a wasteland!

Re. baseball stadium music, one of my favorites is when "YMCA" comes on over the loudspeakers and all the good conservative Christian types get up, sing along, and form letters with their arms. What a hoot! Chalk up another victory for the nefarious Queer Agenda!

Sheryl said...

Goodness, this post has grown since I visited last! I'll only throw in that yeah, I dislike the rap as well.

And Snave and Lizzy--you both made me laugh and smile. Thanks! Especially Snave's description of the folks at the baseball games erupting out the national anthem.

They always do that at the political conventions I attend here in Texas, and oh yes, that is torture. If they want to get the terrorists to break, they should hire one of these croners to sing our national anthem to them.

And have you noticed how everyone always claps profusely afterwards as if all that oversinging was God's gift to the universe? That's what is really surreal. There I was blocking my ears as best I could at our State Democratic Convention, and then this female who wasn't even good relative to the croners was given a standing ovation. I thought we were gonna get some encore performance. Anyway....

The urban maoris where I was living in New Zealand liked some of this modern music you guys are describing, and they would open their fronts and back doors and play some of it at top vloume, so thatyou could literally feel vibrations in your house. You could call noise control, but from where we lived they would never arrive till half an hour later by which the noise would be temporary on hold.

But from our house, all you could hear was the bass (I guess it was.) Thump, thump, thump. That was particularly painful when they occassionally did that at 7AM.

I think you could drive someone over the edge that way. I know that I got very vicious thoughts in my mind sometimes from it. I also think some of the beats are more from tribal war sounds. I don't know. I just know there were times I actually started thinking dark thoughts.

Damien said...

You must have been living next to me sheryl,

Yeah urban maori are trying to mimic the whole black urban thing, yes it is wrong. Most just don't get the point. I could go on forever on that topic.

'Get a hair-cut and get a real job' man thats locked into my shower rotation, great taste in music moosie.

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