Friday, September 16, 2005

Take a hint, George

I love Bill Maher. I look forward to his HBO show every Friday. This is what he said on last week's show (thanks, Brian.)

Why Don't We All Have a Recall?

C'mon, Mr. President, it's time for you to quit while you're behind.

America must recall the president. That's what this country needs: a good old-fashioned California-style recall election, complete with petitions, finger-pointing and a ridiculous cast of replacement candidates.

Just like Gray Davis had to do here in Califorina, George W. Bush must now defend his job against... Russel Crowe! Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. Naomi Campbell can be vice president -- only phone-throwers, people!

Come on, Mr. President, this can't be fun for you anymore.

You can't spend more of our money because you used it all up. And you can't start another war, because you've used up the troops. And when it comes to reacting to hurricanes, you made your old man look like St. Francis of Assissi.

Your job has turned into the Bush family nightmare: helping poor black people.

The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out and no one's speaking to you -- mission accomplished!

Now it's time to do what you do best: lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team.

Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?

Oh, I know what you're saying: "Hey, I've got three more years, and there's so many other things I want to... touch."... Please don't.

I know, I know, there's so much left to do: war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts and diamonds, turning the space program over to the church, handing healthcare over to Haliburton and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote.

But none of that's going to happen now. Why? Because you're the first American president to lose a whole city. Jimmy Carter never lost a city. Herbert Hoover was a lousy president, but even he didn't concede an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

You've performed so poorly, you should give yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. On your watch we've lost almost all of our allies, the budget surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky.

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

Yes. God does speak to you. And right now, he's saying: "Take a hint!"

5 comments:

J. Marquis said...

I agree, Lizzy. Watching Real Time is one of the high points of my week. I especially love it when Bill gets serious at the end.

I think it's interesting that some of the Left's most effective spokespeople are comedians: Maher, Franken, Garofalo, Shearer, Durst (just a few examples). I guess a quick wit and a sharp political perspective come as part of the same package.

Snave said...

I think the only problem with comedians being some of our best spokespeople is that the other side genreally doesn't seem to have a sense of humor... so while comedians may be good spokespeople, they may not necessarily make great recruiters when it comes to retrieving lost souls from the Dark Side...

Just the same, I also enjoy Bill Maher quite a bit but I don't get to see his show. I have a couple of his books, and they make for fun reading. He is quite perceptive. I think the comment about no other president having lost a city is quite astute.

This would have made me laugh out loud if it wasn't so close to the truth: "I know, I know, there's so much left to do: war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts and diamonds, turning the space program over to the church, handing healthcare over to Haliburton and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote."

Thanks for posting that sarcastic, curmudgeonly, PERCEPTIVE rant!! We need more people like Bill.

Damien said...

I've always thought satire was a great way to tide over opinion, or gauge opinion. I agree with Snaver, it is a tad one sided - especially considering the other side just don't get the joke.

Anonymous said...

What the (satirical) left really needs to do. Is take a difinitive formal political stance once and for all. Its all well and fun to poke fun at the imbeciles in charge. How do we now make insults sting, I mean really sting!!! Lizzy?

Uncle Richard said...

Carly Sheehan, the sister of Army Spc. Casey Sheehan killed in Iraq, wrote a poem called "A Nation Rocked to Sleep"...
"Have you heard the sound of a mother screaming for her son?
The torential rains of a mother's weeping will never be done
They call him hero, you should be glad he is one, but
Have you ever heard the sound of a mother screaming for her son?
Have you evr heard the sound of a father holding back his cries?
They say that he died so that the flag will continue to wave
But I believe he died because they had oil to save
Hve you ever heard the sound of taps being played over your brother's grave?
Have you ever heard he sound of the nation being rocked to sleep?
The leaders want to keep you numb
so the pain won't be so deep
But if we the people let them continue another mother will weep
Have you heard the sound of a Nation being rocked to sleep?"
STOP THE WAR!!!!