The night after the election, Jon Stewart said, "I get it now. Now I understand what they mean by the culture war...Will & Grace - red states, no like-y"
So in the interest of unity, I am submitting these new fall TV shows:
1. Law & Order: Every Fetus Unit
Lead Actors: Toby Keith, Patricia Heaton, Ben Stein, & Tom Selleck as "The Chief"
Synopsis: Each week, Detectives Zygote & Oocyte from Operation Rescue are on the case when the word gets out that a women is about to make a choice about her own body.
2. Law & Order: Library Book Unit (Other title considered: L&O: Patriot Act Unit)
Lead Actors: Ron Silver, Heather Locklear, Angie Harmon, & Dennis Miller as "The Boss"
Synopsis: Each week, Detectives Tap & Track are on the case when they learn that libraries are letting people photo copy books like Our Bodies, Ourselves and Origin of Species in order to skip the check-out process.
3. CSI: Alabama
Lead Actors: Kelsey Grammer, Bo Derek, Shanon Doherty, & Sarah Michelle Gellar
Synopsis: After Roe v Wade is overturned, crime scene investigators are dispatched after several hangers are found in motel rooms & alleys.
4. The West Right Wing
All-star cast includes Bruce Willis, Clint Eastwood, James Woods, & Mel Gibson as GW Bush
Synopsis: Not needed - just read the paper
5. Will & Grace
BIG changes here. The character of Will will be going through a big change. He will find a church-based psychiatry program that teaches him that he can change his homosexual ways.
But, set those VCRs! In A Very Special Will & Grace episode, after months of suppressing his natural core being, Will snaps. In complete desperation, he has unprotected sex with some rough trade and brings home some very special HIV to his loving wife, Grace. Oh well...It's back to the reprogrammers for Will!!
6. Fox News Channel -- no change