Today my fiance asked me, "What happened to the girl I knew...the one who took chances?" My answer was that I'm not 17 anymore (when we first met.) He said that has nothing to do with it -- and he was right.
While I am quite content with my life right now (aside from my outrage about the current political climate) I do think it is a good thing to shake things up from time to time. Since there is little I can do right now about Dubya and Co, I have decided to make a personal change. And while I have talked about doing this for a long time, I feel that the time has come. I am going to cut my long brown hair really short, and possibly dye it blond. While you may think that is no big deal, I assure you, if you knew me, you'd know it is.
I'm hoping that it also helps with my worsening OCD. One of my compulsions is trichotillomania. Maybe if my hair is really short, I'll be less likely to pull.
Tomorrow I will start my quest for a decent hair stylist.
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5 comments:
Good luck, L.! I'm in the process of letting my scruffy beard grow beyond the scruffy goatee once more. I shaved those areas last time because they were pretty much white... and I refuse to use coloring, so... I'll probably shave it off again soon! Dang. If I don't shave off the whole beard, I play with whatever part is left, pulling at it and playing with it, or else I'm playing with the mustache part with my tongue. Sigh...
My OCD has stayed under control in some areas and has gotten worse in others. I tend to worry a lot less about things, and torturously obsessive worrying was the main reason I had to get on the meds. As far as my procrastination goes, I think that may be worse than ever.
So maybe I'll wait and start my exercise program tomorrow. Or it might be better to do it after the New Year begins.
I swear, Snave, you ARE the male version of me. It is a comfort to know that I am not alone.
I am the exact same way about worrying and procrastination. Having OCD and being a procrastinator is a very odd combination. I can obsess about the bathroom floor not being clean enough to eat off of, yet I am able to put off cleaning it until tomorrow...or the day after.
I have also been putting off my new exercise program...for months.
Can I ask which med you are taking? I tried Luvox, but it messed with my ability to urinate. Now I am on Lexapro for mild depression & anxiety, but it doesn't help with the OCD.
I think it's great you're changing your hairstyle. Sometimes a little thing like that can really give you a new perspective.
This time of year is always tough for me. I always feel better once the stress of Christmas is over (though I still hate how much of the day is dark this time of year).
Sometimes, like here, the comments section of your blog is the best part. Getting personal encouragement and support from others is invaluable. I wish I could add something meaningful.
One of our kids (who grew up to be a forty year old adult) spent his eighteenth birthday in a treatment facility for substance abuse. It was helpful when one of the counselors pointed out "We have to 'normalize' some of this behavior. After all, we are dealing with an adolescent, so some of what we see is the result of being a kid, not the result of substance abuse."
I think the same principle is good for a lifetime. Some amount of everyone's behavior is normal, although it may not be something we want to keep. When I eat junk food, or procrastinate, or ignore a ringing telephone, or hold on to a piece of junk that anyone else would put in the trash...I would like to point to a syndrome that makes me act that way. But I can't.
Some of what you describe is just eccentric human behavior. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Keep on truckin'.
Thanks, Snave, J, & Hoots. I can always count on my blog buddies to make me feel better.
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